When Silence Means No

The buck stops here! Or is it? After much playing the innocent victim role, I guess I'm responsible for my life after all. The past life, present and also the future. Pointing finger leaves black marks in my heart and it is useless.

The best way is to re-examine myself first. What were my mistakes, so I could learn from it and hopefully never to commit it again. Blaming other will haunt my conscience forever. What's done is done anyway.

 

Recalling back, we never made a pact to be together. Although there is a chemical reaction between us, there is none verbal commitment. We never decided on taking the next step if there should be one. If it is the rule anyway. Should we? The question is , "Why should we?"

 

Are we were waiting on each other to say it first? Should it be me first? That is where I'm not good at, starting first. Can't I just show it with my actions and gentle gestures to you? I'm bad with words especially verbally. But on countless times have I shown you my care. You must have noticed it.  Well maybe you still need the verbal assurance which I have not given.

 

I guess I didn't give because I'm not sure about you having the same idea about 'us' as I have on my mind. I guess I feared rejection. I've traded my doubt and accepted a silent no silently when actually my 'silence' is my own enemy! God how weak was I then! And maybe till now...